fatwallet

i remember a time when i was a kid... i would stuff any and all cards i could find into my wallet. phone cards, frequent flier cards, VIP cards, and anything else that would inflate my self worth and make my wallet look fatter. after all, if people identify you using numbers stored on a magnetic strip, you must be important. and there's really nothing sadder than a skinny wallet.

oh how times have changed. now, it seems as though everyone has some super special card that i just *have* to carry around all the time. as a result, my wallet has grown disproportionately large. right now this is what i have in my wallet:
2x credit cards
ATM card
2x library cards
student ID (for student discounts!)
AAA card
walmart card with $20.12 (came free with my car purchase)
drivers license
HMO card (parent's policy)
miscellaneous frequent shopper cards ("buy x get 1 free" stamp cards)
$12

maybe that's why you see all these old guys who have a lot of cash with back problems. all of these thick cards are the bane of buttocks everywhere, throwing off our natural spinal alignment. but is there really anything we can do? as you start to get 10 or more cards, it really starts getting a bit ridiculous. but i guess that's just part of the process of being a man. everyone likes a guy with a fat wallet. unless of course, it only has twelve dollars in it.