the only way to travel

i used to like flying. but that was back in the days of the twin towers, when people didn't have to take off their clothing to pass through the metal detectors. now "security screening" is a veritable strip show. shoes, jackets, belts, watches, and all sorts of things have to be put through the scanner in the hopes that you won't beep as you walk through the metal detector.

upon my arrival to the airport today, i was confronted with two different check-in lines. the lines were both labeled as airline 'C' and airline 'A'. one line was for e-tickets, with kiosks. i thought "hey, i bought an e-ticket, i'll go into the e-ticket line to save the agents the trouble of checking me in!". however, after waiting ten minutes and finally getting to an open kiosk, i found that my kiosk didn't recognize me. apparently, the kiosks were only for airline 'C' passengers, despite the big sign that says airline 'A' just behind it. so i got out of that line and went to the back of the other.

on reaching the front of that line, i stood there for quite a while, staring at the agents milling around behind the high desk they get to stand behind. after what seemed like an eternity, one of them decided to do some actual work and call me over to check me in. unfortunately, i was told that i was one minute too late, and she could not check me in. at first, i thought it was some sort of sick joke, but they really can't check you in if there is less than 45 minutes to departure, and i had arrived in front of her with 44 minutes left until departure. so i get a standby ticket for the next flight, in 5 hours.

five hours pass and it turns out that they oversold that flight and i can't get on. they asked for volunteers to give up their seats, but no one did. everyone who didn't get to go on the plane got a free night at a hotel, meal vouchers, and booked on some sort of flight the next morning. everyone except me that is. all because i "missed" my flight. so all i get to do is wait on standby for tomorrow's flights--which incidentally are also all oversold. so basically i have a snowball's chance in hell of getting on any of them. in fact, the only confirmed flight they could offer me was on the 30th--four days after my scheduled flight.

about when they told me it was all my fault for not arriving early enough was when i felt like punching someone's face in. however, i held my anger and calmly explained that it was in fact, their incompetence that caused me to be a whole one minute late. the agent's response was "it's still your fault for not arriving on time. and you should have arrived 2 hours early because of the holidays." i realized that my normally amazing, but now useless, powers of logic could do nothing here, i said i wanted to lodge a complaint. the agent responded by saying "all of the agents here are with airline 'C', you'll have to call airline 'A' at this number to complain".

i gave up, and called my parents to come pick me up since i was clearly spending the night here anyway. so while i waited for them to come, i called company 'A' to complain, and... (big surprise) they said that they couldn't do anything and told me to talk to someone at the airport. a manager or supervisor. so i hung up, and went to an agent called maribeth and asked for a manager. or supervisor. she said "well, didn't you talk to one upstairs?" i thought back and did recall talking to the lady she described. the manager told me to go away, and that she was busy helping people "higher up on the list". whatever the hell that meant. maribeth said she might be able to help me, so i told her my story and how much a flight four days after my scheduled flight date would screw me in the behind and how all the other passengers seemed to have gotten a flight back the next day except me. so clearly it was possible to get a flight for tomorrow. maribeth thought for a moment and then in about a minute, was able to book me on a connecting flight through vegas for tomorrow. i don't know if airline 'A' and 'C' simply had it out for me, or if they are just entirely staffed with nincompoops unable to comprehend the concept of a connecting flight.

so in all, i put in eight hours at the airport today--eight and a half if you count lunch (which consisted of a chocolate chip cookie). and i get to leave tomorrow. i hope.